Just like a lot of people right now, I’m totally gripped by World Cup fever and after convincing myself I would only watch England’s games (and perhaps Brazil) I now find I’m skiving work to watch teams from which I couldn’t name a single player!

Now, whilst sitting square-eyed with my arse melted into the sofa a few things have really struck me about this tournament.

If after 5 minutes you can still hear and are bothered by the vuvuzelas then you’re obviously not concentrating on the football, so switch over and watch Midsomer Murders or Mary Queen of Shops instead.

It turns out Sven was right all along, there really is no such thing as an easy international game nowadays (just ask England and France!)

Professional footballers will look for any excuse… It’s not the Wembley turf this time but the ball, although as a reason for not performing, this is right up there with the wrong kind of leaves on the line! Am I being too naïve or missing something in assuming that if both teams are playing with the same ball (which to my recollection, usually happens!) then it makes no difference?

Finally, judging by the tight-shirted Cameroon team, players in the modern age are now total athletes and the days when a corpulent Jan Molby would run the Liverpool midfield without ever leaving the centre circle and then join the fans for pies at half-time, are truly over. So, if like me you can’t help but shout, ‘I’d have netted that’ at the screen every time anyone misses the slightest scoring opportunity, then perhaps you’d better ensure you are in shape for next season…or get ready for a large slice of humble pie!

Your countdown to the new footie season

If your pre-season preparations involve little more than digging around the bottom of your wardrobe to find your boots and de-odorising your jockstrap, then it’s time for a rethink. Brace yourself, think ‘overhaul’ and remember the silver foxed pundit and former England boss, Kevin Keegan.

Legend has it that in his playing days, he’d leave no blade of grass uncovered during the course of a match. No surprise, then, that when the ‘Great Permed One’, as he was then, pulled off his shirt following the famous bust-up with Billy Bremner in the classic Liverpool v Leeds United Charity Shield (and this was in the days of proper scraps, kicks and punches, not the handbags we see today from players who don’t want to chip their carefully manicured nails!) he revealed the physique of an Adonis.

In short, there are no two ways about it. To win at this game, you’ve got to be in shape. Witness the wingers, who routinely cover up to seven miles in the course of 90 minutes. It’s common knowledge that downing ten pints and putting away a tikka massala as a night-before carbohydrate-loading foodstuff isn’t exactly the way Wayne Rooney is going to prepare for a game.

So here, then, is a four week programme to get you in shape for the new season concentrating on improving flexibility, increasing aerobic fitness, strengthening your body and developing your skills. When, at the end of the season, your team is in the cup final and it goes to extra time, you’ll be glad you took my advice.

Week 1

- 3 running sessions of 30 minutes at around 75% maximum heart rate (MHR calculated by subtracting your age from 220).

- Stretch after each session when the muscles are warm. Focus on hamstrings, groin, quadriceps and calves. Ease yourself into the end position and hold it for at least 15 seconds, but preferably 30 seconds.

Week 2

- 2 running sessions of 30 minutes using the Fartlek principle of varying pace – i.e., intersperse 3 minutes of easy jogging with 3 minutes at 85% MHR.

- 1 session of 10 short sprints (no more than 40m) and 10 longer springs (60m to 80m) with 1 minute rest between each.

- Stretches as per Week 1.

Week 3

- 1 varying-pace running session as in Week 2.

- 1 session of 15 short sprints and 15 longer sprints with 1 minute recovery time.

- Stretches as per Week 1.

- 1 total body work-out in gym: do 3 sets of 12 repetitions aiming for fatigue on final rep. Perform one exercise for each of the major muscle groups – squat, lunge, chest press, seated rowing, shoulder press, calf-raise, ab crunch.

Week 4

- 1 varying-pace running session, as in Week 2.

- 1 session of 15 short sprints and 15 longer efforts but now, only 30-second recovery period between each burst.

- Stretches as per Week 1.

- Work-out, as in Week 3.

- Now, finally, you should be fit enough for some ball work. Go for a session in the park – preferably with some mates – and practice dribbling in and out of obstacles and juggling. Jog with the ball close to your feet.

What you should be aiming for:
Speed and power (anaerobic fitness) are the nature of the game, but equally vital is a sound endurance platform (aerobic fitness). Lower body strength and flexibility are crucial for tackling and shooting. Stick to the programme and you’ll start the season fighting fit and also greatly reduce your chances of injury.

What kind of fit?
There’s more to fitness than just being able to run around the pitch.

Aerobic fitness – Reflects your ability to take in oxygen and deliver it to the muscles. Enables you to last the distance and leads to quicker recovery from an intense burst.
Anaerobic fitness – As your work rate increases, your body can no longer supply oxygen quickly enough, so you rely on the alternative energy systems. Anaerobic fitness is a measure of them.
Strength – The maximum force you can generate in a particular muscle or group of muscles. In addition to enabling you to kick the ball (or the other team’s striker) harder and further, lower body strength helps prevent injury.
Flexibility – Makes it easier to twist and turn while also giving you a greater range for applying force and thus generating power. Helps with prevention of injury too.

Dean never came close to making it as a pro footballer but he has held the very ball used in the 1966 World Cup final in his hands and Dennis Law once made him a cup of tea! He has previously written articles for the likes of The Times, FHM, GQ and Men’s Health and been employed as a consultant to Nike, David Lloyd Leisure and Reebok. Dean is now based at award-winning Ragdale Hall spa. For more information, please visit www.deanhodgkin.com